The Noise  

                by Giang Pham


                                                              

If my nipples could talk, it would say “show us the word”

If my pillow could talk, it would say “I cheated on you”

If my pen could talk, it would say “you can’t handle this, use the pencil, you make mistakes”

If my carpet could talk, it would say “your heels feel fantastic”

If my penis could talk, it would say “I’m the third wheel, I’m lonely”

If my pooch could talk, it would say “you’re the excess”

If my ears could talk, it would say “like you’ll listen to me anyways”

If my hair could talk, it would say “Honey, we’re breaking up”

If my beta fish could talk, it would say “mourn me not. I do not regret my exploration”

Oh my God could talk, she would say “knock, knock”